One morning I got up, looked out the door of my shack and saw a man teaching his little daughter how to walk. He was holding her hands and guiding her steps over the uneven, dirt debris of the dump. At one point the little girl shook him off, wanting to walk by herself. He followed closely behind, hovering over her as she struggled to walk. Suddenly, she tripped. Right before she did a face-plant into the garbage, her father reached down and swooped her up. He had her the whole time!
God spoke powerfully to me through this experience. I knew in my heart that even if I lost my grip, my Father never would. I did not have to be afraid that I was not strong enough to hold on and keep it together - I was not, but He was. The book of Jude puts it this way:
Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 24-25, NASB
My attitude completely changed. As sick as I was, I began to press forward with confidence that my life was in my Father's hands. Shortly after this experience, I woke up one morning feeling different. For the first time in weeks, I could breathe deeply. I felt no urge to cough and felt so much stronger! I gave myself another PPD skin test, and miraculously the test came back negative. Normally if you have recovered from tuberculosis, the test will still be positive because it shows that your body has developed the antibodies to fight it. To this day, my body shows no evidence that I ever had TB. God healed me!
It is so easy to refuse to "come to the edge" because of fear - fear of death, fear of pain, fear of loss. These fears are all too natural. But we must realize that fear will always betray and sabotage our ultimate purpose. It is in these dark times that we have to remind ourselves that our Father has taken hold of us and will not let us go. Although your edge may not look like mine, God's promise to save us is the same. Maybe it is time to step out and learn to soar!
EXCERPT from Outrageous Courage
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